It is a normal thing in a dialysis center for some patients to just stop breathing and die during their session. I see it happening quite a few times in the hospital when it was my early months of starting dialysis. There are times I see families crying over losing their loved one during dialysis outside the room. I don’t know if it was the patient’s time, or they didn’t eat that much, so their sugar levels dropped, or whatever.
Two months ago in the center I undergo dialysis now, there’s an old lady who fell asleep and I thought she’d be gone because she looked, at the time, like she is dead. She is always accompanied by her granddaughter and grandsons. I haven’t seen her lately though. Hope she’s still alive.
In my first couple of weeks when I started dialysis I had experiences where I didn’t eat a lot and that affected my sessions in way where I felt dizzy, barfed, another close seizure episode, sugar levels went low. Those seizure episodes includes getting dizzy, losing my hearing, my vision becoming black, barfing, losing control of myself and that’s where the seizure starts. I never go to sleep for a long time when it starts because I have a feeling I might not wake up, have a seizure episode, or die.
Back to my story, Monday this week.. there was a man who sat in front of me, in the other row of chairs, who’s doing his dialysis. He said to the nurse that he just started doing dialysis this month. He was a little grumpy and kept complaining to the nurse and wanted the treatment to be stopped even though he was just getting his access cleaned.
He didn’t look that old to die that early. His companions left him when they brought him there. I am so grateful my mom and my cousin spend a day to look over me and don’t leave me alone there. Well, it’s not like I can manage being alone there. 😂
Three hours later, the nurses were calling him to ask if he’s okay. His eyes were open but he wasn’t answering. More nurses came in and kept calling his attention. Still no attention, no blink, no response and his head dropped to the side with his tongue out.
More nurses kept calling his attention. I believe his machine started to make noises to get everyone’s attention maybe his veins stopped working.
Right in that moment where the first nurse called his attention and he didn’t reply, he was having a cardiac arrest. Not the usual type of cardiac arrest where you are awake and active and suddenly your chest starts to hurt and you have to be brought to the hospital for medical care.
In the middle of this, my mom who was asleep suddenly woke up and rushed to him and pressed his feet and luckily he woke up.
After that, she went back to me and took this cover so you won’t see what the other patients are doing, or if your nurses and doctors are removing your clothes so they can examine your body better. I don’t know what’s that called. She was worried I’d see more of that and feel more stressed. Actually, I was feeling stressed when I noticed what was happening.
He just asked the people around him “what happened I was asleep”. Oh my god, you almost died. Maybe 2 more minutes and you would be dead if you didn’t reply to these people who kept calling you and getting your attention.
Jesus fucking christ. If that is how quick we die then we better be thinking twice before killing ourselves through suicide or whatever self made way of dying. I know, we all have mental illnesses – some can get past it, others let themselves get too deep into it. Please think twice and tell your closest friends if you have such problems. For me, people just need people and friends to talk and believe and listen to their problems to get past this.
Or, if you do want to end your life, please save your Kidney and willingly donate it to me? 
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