No need to storytell how I remembered this little mental list I made back in 2007 so I’ll cut to the chase and post the said list:
(Note: I had BIG dreams back in high school okay, don’t worry it’s not as big as it seems.. with what happened in the end, anyway)
- Go to the UP fair (doesn’t matter what year) and watch bands that I am a fan of/love
- Go to the fair and be in the pit with the official event photographers (assuming that by the time I get to go, I will have an established identity as a rock band photographer)
- Experience the UST Paskuhan experience and/or UP fair experience
- Be well known around the community as a web designer or photographer
- Be a contributor to the school publication (in CSB we have a wide variety of printed material where students can submit works and write articles for, you know the drill)
- Take a loooooot of photos (back then nobody was into Photography that much, tumblr wasn’t around to be your online scrapbook and teenagers didn’t see flickr as a creative outlet)
Back to the present: February 19, 2011, 11:18 PM Saturday. Have I accomplished most, even just one thing, from this list?
Go to the UP fair (doesn’t matter what year) and watch bands that I am a fan of/love = DIDN’T HAPPEN
It’s my 4th year in college and I’ll be extending for two more terms (May-September) and I have never been to a single one UP Fair event. I have no friends who can accompany me there. UP Diliman is too far. If I did go, how will I go home? The North would eat me the fuck alive yo. Most of my friends are not into the whole raw gig experience. I need hardcore friends. LOLJK FRIENDS I WUV YEW. =)
Yes it is a must for me to have a companion/buddy whenever I go to events like this. I don’t want to stick out as a sore thumb with no friends and I’m not exactly the most sociable person you will meet. Oh my it would be truly a sad sight to see me alone hailing a cab and it might just take me to my final destination. *knock on wood*
Most of the people who I told about ditching an event because I didn’t have anyone to go with just looked at me oddly. Hello! You’re a guy! It doesn’t matter if you go alone or not, you’ll still enjoy it. It’s not the same when it comes to girls!! This is for you, little bro.
Go to the fair and be in the pit with the official event photographers = DIDN’T HAPPEN
Didn’t happen. Like I said, never been to a single UP fair event and it’s my last year in college.
Experience the UST Paskuhan experience and/or UP fair experience = DIDN’T HAPPEN
At first it was a big, big deal to me to go to this event (what would be cooler than school spirit right?), but as the years went by and I got busy (oh geez Anna, you’re always busy!) it kept slipping off my mind the thought that I wanted to go, in the end it didn’t seem that much of a big/important thing to me so I lost interest on it entirely.
I have a friend (the only one who passed the USTET in our batch!) who can easily accompany me and take me with there but I hadn’t thought of this until I saw a photo album one of our friends recently uploaded on Facebook about the Paskuhan event she went with MY friend. Felt bad for about 5 minutes and shrugged off the feeling. It’s the epic event UST hosts every year with, as usual, music bands to entertain the kids of the night..
Be well known around the community as a web designer or photographer = ACCOMPLISHED
I have taken two photography classes, both of them were required unlike electives which we have freedom on which subjects we only want to take. I learned the basics of photography and even doing professional studio photography. I manage to get my own DSLR because I needed it for my projects and to save myself from the hassle of borrowing cameras from school (I hate going thru forms and perhaps abiding by the rules attached to it, it kinda limits me because since this is just borrowed I have to REALLY take care of it and that ends up being the thing I do 90% of the time instead of concentrating on the shoot itself).
By the time I finished those subjects and passed with excellent grades, I haven’t done any real photoshoot since then and my DSLR is mostly chilling at my cabinet. I only take her out when I go to events (parties, get togethers with my friends, Singapore, foreign places) and take photos of the event by not a professional coverage. For the sake of my pride, as much as possible I stay away from Auto, haha! It’s usually on Program, Shutter Speed/Aperture Priority of if I have time to waste on shooting I’ll do Manual mode. Mostly on Program then I just edit on Photoshop if I feel like it.
Somehow this one I got to accomplish. Friends know me as the one with a ‘nice, monstrous camera’ (lol cuz theirs are point and shoot cameras) or the ‘photographer’ (I do admit it makes me feel better haha!). I’ve been asked a few times if I can shoot them (professionally) but I’ve been reluctant at accepting offers because I don’t think I have experience.. especially if it’s with people I don’t know that well. If we’re friends, sure we’ll work it out.
Same with web designing, I’m known but within a small community online only (friends, friends of friends). I’ve gotten small-time paying gigs last year and I’m thankful for it because it helped with my current spending habits then, though I should’ve saved most of it! 😛 After graduation, I hope to land in high paying freelance gigs. Still focused in doing low-key work, though.
Be a contributor (do-able, easier to accomplish) or part of the staff of the school publication = DIDN’T HAPPEN
I actually considered joining the Benildean Press Corps back in freshman year when I saw their booth + got a form during Org Week BUT I suddenly realized that if I do, I would lose ALL my free time. You can say that I’ve thought about what repercussions it can do to me in the long run! Oh wait, the answer is no, I didn’t get t accomplish this.
Man, I was all about the free time. I didn’t even go to the Freshman Ball, or was it party.. because I didn’t have friends then (LOL it was on the first week of college, k!) and I hated to be the wallflower girl on the party. I had a tight sked in freshman year: Go home right after class. But that part eventually changed especially in third year, even better in fourth year (now).
Look at what happened now, self! Three years down the drain you have 30%-0 social life and you don’t have anything to brag (you have no “hey I was in the school paper once!”) to your kids or future kids of your friends should they decide to go to CSB when they get to college.
Last month there was an open contribution thing to the photography folio of the school. I planned to submit something, I had prospect photos in mind but it got in the way of my retreat so I didn’t get to sort my photos and pick my 4 choices. The day before the retreat (2 days before the last day of submission/deadline), I panicked because I haven’t packed ANYTHING for the retreat the following day. Panic + packing = PANICKING. That was my LAST CHANCE to be in a school publication and I basically BLEW IT OFF.
Truth: I actually had the whole weekend to sort those photos? Fucking procrastination ruined it all. Oh and I think I woke up late on that weekend.
Take a loooooot of photos = ACCOMPLISHED
During my senior year in high school, I started bringing my dad’s digicam (which eventually became mine because I used it more often than him hehe) to and took photos of my friends and classmates. Professional photography didn’t matter to me then because I was simply doing it for the sake of having photos to serve as my high school memory, souvenir, remembrance, etc etc. All of them were candid shots and vanity shots of us. My friends borrowed my camera and start to take photos of themselves (this was the beginning of the friendster pose photos lol). I’m happy to say that I did get more than enough amount of photos that I needed. I think I did a really good job because whenever I look back on my photos at Multiply during those years it always brings me a tear in my eye just reminiscin.
One bummer thing though: My better camera, Canon Powershot, broke some weeks before graduation so I had to resort to a Sony Cybershot (borrowed it from my dad’s friend hahahahah). Not much of a Sony fan because the batteries run out quite fast. I got photos from my graduation, sure, but somehow it didn’t feel really enough. I had limits to it like I couldn’t shoot with flash because it would drain the battery, for the most part. And my post-graduation family dinner kinda sucked because of that camera. Meh.
Wait! I got side tracked LOLOLOL. Why was I talking about highschool, this is supposed to be a college post!! 😛
I only got to do this during the first two years of my college life, the taking massive photos of your friends and classmates thing. Looking back, taking photos of what you guys (or as a class/block) did together during the breaks or during the times when you’re inside the room waiting for your prof and 15 minutes has passed and s/he hasn’t arrived yet so you resort to taking spontaneous shots of your crazy blockmates or just taking photos whenever you guys bond seems like a freshman thing to do. LOL I’m not being mean, it is the truth!! Or, k, fine, “FROM MY OPINION/FROM WHAT I HAVE OBSERVED JUST NOW”.
I have bunks of DVDs full of photos of my friends and I, at the mall, comfort room, at the stairs of the CSB main building, hallways of the CSB buildings, PE photos, photos when we eat outside, vanity photos, photos of my blockmates that doesn’t make any sense at all and videos of my classmates performing in class as a requirement for our Psychology class (good blackmail material too, haha jk). Why do I have it? Because years from now it will be important to me when the thought of wanting to go to memory lane pops in my mind. Boom! Instant trip back to 2007, freshman kids looking like innocent gullible fools who didn’t know any better and carried their ugaling high school attitude to pre-adulthood/college stage.
It sucks that I stopped this habit the following year after. We all got busy and everything just went by SO fast. I remember in 2nd year that I used to bring this huge plastic bag containing a big sketchpad, paint and painting supplies. It was such a drag to carry around school!! I’m very relieved that I’m way past that stage now and the only thing I bring to school is a shoulder bag, not too small but not too big either. It’s also my daily bag now that I bring wherever I go.. school, mall, anywhere!
It would be cool if I stuck through with this.. I’d be looking at 4 years worth of photos and try to figure out if something changed (like, the way I looked, or dressed).. 😀 I don’t think my way of dressing up changed in a significant way. Lol I still have my shirts from 2nd year and they still fit me. 😛
Hehehe. That’s 2 out of 6 things I had on my list I made in 2007. It didn’t even make to 50%. Sad. Could it be that.. my whole college life was a waste and that I didn’t get to enjoy it to it’s maximum potential? If I faced my fears or really pushed myself hard to do it, would it make any significant change to how things are going for me right now?
JUST BECAUSE I DIDN’T GET TO DO ALL THE THINGS I WANTED TO DO, DOESN’T MEAN EVERYTHING WAS A WASTE.
Sure I’ve never been to the UP Fair ever in my life or the UST Paskuhan.. but there will be chances (the only drawback is it won’t feel the same since I won’t be a student if I get to watch?) nor did I became well known or have a ton of experience when it comes to doing Photography work.. or or became a life of the party/party people kind of person. But a lot of things I did get to experience during my stay in college.
- I got to go out of the country on my own and be in a different country and explore it thoroughly (by that I mean without the ‘rents and my little brother who are usually my companions on out of the country trips)
- I failed a subject way more than my standards
- I didn’t turn out to someone who I would’ve despised if we’re still talking in a high school setting (I’d hate to be one of them airhead people, lol)
- I didn’t get to any vices! HAHAHA
- I became a dean’s lister thrice (but not consecutively, otherwise this would be the biggest accomplishment as of late because I’d have that opportunity of receiving a plaque for being a consecutive DL)
- I found my friends, real ones. Didn’t go through the whole phase of facing fake friends. Thank god.
- Felt like the person who was outside the loop and looking from an outsider’s perspective. This one is confusing to explain so I’ll just leave it there.
I wouldn’t trade the experience for anything. Maybe change a couple of things.. then again it would totally affect the bigger result that is this current state of life right now. 😛 Er, there’s flop OJT experience, that embarrassing two years of trying to get myself be noticed by someone, that sad attempt to catch a fish*
Don’t I just LOVE looking at the negative side of things. Well, that’s one thing you have to live with when it comes to this person you are dealing with: Me.
The Queen of All TL;DR, Anna.