Life just doesn’t seem to get better on me. First, I fail on my Algebra subject for the first time (fine, I’m guilty of this, like I said, I’m the one who brought it on myself anyway), I was perfectly fine with it, accepting it and letting my bitterness towards my ala French named professor go away. But fate or maybe God really wants to test my patience with life and decided to let me on a ‘3 month due trial’. I got my final schedule for this trimester (my last for my freshman year at college) and I only realized it now how much it sucks. See, I could have changed my PE schedule to fit the Algebra schedule that seems more appropriate for me, but no, I didn’t changed it and went ahead (without thinking) and got the Algebra class & laboratory sessions at the college’s hotel which is like a million blocks away from the main building (according to me, see I’m a slow walker and I get tired easily). It gets worse, my first subject in the morning is from 7AM to 8AM then my Algebra follows at 810AM to 910AM, do you see what I’m talking about? I’m supposed to get to the other building in 10 minutes?! Even with riding the public sidecars around Taft Avenue may or may not do enough justice, besides it’s my only “transportation” to that damned building, I can’t walk my way to the hotel or else I’d fail again cause of too many lates. My laboratory session with the subject is every Tuesday, after PE class, and I hear that PE uniform is not allowed inside the hotel premises? What the fuck? Suree…. let me rush my ass in that hotel for the next 3 months, followed by doing a 5 minute change to casual clothes everytime PE’s done so I won’t get sent to the Disciplinarian Office when I’m on AKIC (the name of the hotel building). My health’s awfully poor that I’m not even allowed to do muscle exerting anymore, yes well I’ve been excused for the last 2 PE subject I’ve been these last 2 semesters, what more with chasing time in the hot sun?
Is it me or 2008 is just not my year? I repeat, not my year. I have thought of dropping PE or changing my PE schedule but I think it’s too late now to do so, I was too Blonde this morning not thinking of it while I was in front of the registrar. I felt dizzy and vomit-y this afternoon even when I woke up from my afternoon nap cause I kept thinking of the hassles I’ll be facing this semester. Too much thinking makes me sick and it’s definitely not healthy for me. Just imagine, your body’s breaking down and piece by piece your system’s eventually failing. I need to stop thinking or I will get sick and everything will only get worse.
If only I hadn’t failed in Algebra, if only, if only! I can’t live through life through ifs & maybes, I have to face them. I also thought of not taking this but then again I’ll be late in graduating and maybe I’ll fail (not on purpose) other subjects as well, I suppose its better that I clean my mess while its early. I’m not even on Soph year and here I am, crashing and burning. Yesterday while having my adjustment form signed I heard some people talking about having problems in repeating their art subjects, I started to fear for myself, what if I don’t make it? I’m artistically challenged, I don’t know how to manually draw shit. I can’t even master the pen tool (adobe photoshop), and I know we’ll be using that soon enough. People, I don’t even know how to use Illustrator, I only know how to use Photoshop. 😞 Shit, I’m really really on the brink of failure right now.
My last entry before I go back to school on Monday, I hope a miracle will happen again, cause for the first time something miraculous did happen to me two days ago. He should know my limitations so He should understand.. doesn’t He watch over us, after all? 😊